Resolving Interpersonal Conflicts #Post 1

A and B had been army buddies for a year since their enlistment. A had to forego his job of a personal trainer at 'California fitness' and B had graduated from a junior college. Despite the differences in their social and educational background, they got along well. Their bonding strengthened when they had to complete outfield missions. B was physically smaller and weaker than A and needed much help from A during these missions. A often made fun of B’s smaller size but B always took that in a playful spirit because despite the casual jokes, A never hesitated in helping B.

A and B became even better friends through their common interest in soccer. Every day after office hours, they played soccer inside their camp. One day, A was very unlucky and he was missing out every opportunity to score a goal. One could feel the tension building up on the field as A got very serious during the game. When A missed an easy open goal again, B jokingly said that how come the big size was not helping him that day. This sparked an outrage in A and he pushed B against the wall. He wanted to use physical contact, but was able to hold himself back at the last moment. He hit the wall instead.

This was the unpleasant end to their friendship. Although A and B were in the same group for another year, they never talked after that incident.

The underlying reasons that led to this situation was the lack of social awareness on B’s part and no self-management on A’s part. B should have picked the emotional cues and realize that A is not in the mood to take on any joke. And A needed to have better self-management instead of letting his short-temper affect his behavior and his relationship with B. I feel that this incident could have been avoided if A and B did not lack emotional intelligence. Do you guys agree?